TV’s New Golden Age: Never Trust The Writers!

I am predisposed to discussing the current so-called ‘Golden Age’ of US Television that currently consumes the twitter-verse we live in. It can be suggested that many of these ‘Golden’ TV shows are so titanic that they could meet the ‘silver screen’; however ‘silver’ would stay. On television, nonetheless, they are golden successors to the mediocre feature projects they could have been.

There is a distinct trend in the US ‘big guns’ literally showing off their big guns as TV has become more dark, violent, raw and simply blatant in death and killing. Via the small screen; it has now become accessible and acceptable to revel in this level of violence and darkness, and the ability to immerse in such onslaught; is just most attractive to us everyday up-standing citizens.

The specific guilty-yet-pleasurable entity subject to my analysis will be ‘The Walking Dead’ – Season 4, Episode 14.

Particularly, Episode 14 of the fourth season of one of Comic Con’s most esteemed shows; seems a rather arbitrary way to go as my choice to review. Episode 14 may not be the premier, penultimate, or finale episode of the latest season; however, to me it solely exuded the kind of TV wizardry of the whole fourth season and this Golden generation.

The episode entitled ‘The Grove’ focuses solely on two main adult characters and three children. Instantly, three children being part of environment where the walking dead are shot down or battered brutally without hesitation is enough to baffle the minds of the viewers. This uncomfortable yet enjoyable watching is the kind of subtle boundary pushing that emerges new genres, as opposed to the distastefully shocking series we see churned out and cancelled daily.

As the camera stalks the aimless walking of our four trustworthy protagonists, we learn that Lizzie, the oldest of the children is clouded by uncertainty as to who the enemy is.

Above and beyond the gore and bloodshed – that we find great guilty pleasure in, we now find ourselves tip-toeing around the precious egg shells of innocence being corrupted by the extreme and frankly unimaginable circumstances these children are in.

In a state of confusion and upset, Lizzie questions the actions of her human guardians and in child-like despair explains that these dead walkers were people. At this point we the audience have tapped into that frank and honest thinking we had in our first decade of life. The battle between logic and emotion is at its breaking point and neither the characters nor we know the consequence.

In a state of absolute disbelief, we watch on as our trusted child heroin murders her younger consort to prove such thought. In a further conflict of anger and upset our trust in our young heroin is betrayed by her naivety.

The conflicted emotions that enrage us now furthermore include dubiety, as the unwritten laws of television will never allow the murdering of children to be shown – surely?

As the credits tide in a wave of smacked gobs, we return to being fools in the arena of written entertainment that we once thought we had mastered. No longer can we predict, assume or remain appeased by the untouched safety of our favourite protagonists, let alone the innocence of children.

Ultimately, this alleged new Golden Age could not be more dissimilar to the tales told in narrative arcs and morals that once quenched our thirsts. However, our itches our now scratched by the complete lawless behaviour of our trusted writers – whom never allow us to assume.

 

 

Ambition is for rebels

Us ambitious rebel-folk have various triggers for our rebellion.


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My rebellion was born out of a blank application form, a two-bed semi, a metaphorical iron fence and the help of daily ritual affirmations.

As a relatively conservative, shy, people pleasing, used-comedy-to-cover-up-insecurities type of person, I had seldom revolted against any aspect of my life. That was until I reached the ripe old age of; “twenty-twooo-oo-oo.”

Unlike our global starlet Miss Swift, I was as static as a barnacle on the arse of Sussex, ready to suppress any ambition; just to find mere contentment. I was the ultimate small-town conformist.

I vindicate, my rebellion could not be more dissimilar to the gallant conduct of Thelma, or Louise. I was hardly Katniss Everdeen in my local Hunger Game. However, life-changing it was indeed.

My story lays its scene in a provincial town, stunted in growth; both in size and mindedness. Really it is the cuckoo’s nest and I am the one who flew over, or at least I am trying.

I was reaching my final year of university, where I seemed to be bounded by a community of nine-to-fivers, babies, engagements, and two-bed semis. To institutionalize myself, I merely tolerated my study purely to get the degree, the PGCE, and then teach. That way I was done, ready to go native.

I could rent (or buy with the help of his parents) my two-bed semi, with my elusively perfect, successful entrepeneur, local hero, equipped handyman, baby-loving boyfriend. By then I would be twenty-three soon to be married, pop out a couple of sprogs by twenty-six, with hope to then roll into my thirties with everything I should have wanted.

After surmising the algebra of my potential fantasy life, I felt no su
ch fantastical feeling. I Andy-Murray-ed my anticlimactic feelings of doubt away, until eventually I questioned them, before I welcomed them completely.

The first impediment of many I endured to surmount was the eradication of my somewhat perfunctory attitude toward study. Ironically, my initial piece of the rebellion puzzle was becoming a complete sycophant in class and achieving scintillating grades and praise, I was reaching for my full potential. Almost instantaneously, I had turned. That PGCE application form, to this day, remains blank, slightly sullied and draw-hidden amongst many other inessentials.

My subsequent obstacle entailed the mass-ostracizing I was due to obtain. In a town seemingly plagued by in-ambition, I had been force-fed the parade of the ‘Two-Bed Semis Political Party’. The TBSP are Facebook’s most loyal customers, under or un-employed, young parents, un-wanted-dog-owners, and settled house-renters. I may sound untactful and condescending; however I am quite the opposite.

I am the extraterrestrial; I want a career not a job, to live my twenties freely and fully, and to be a fully fledged home-owner. My desire and ambition to want more than what was born unto me, that I now consider precocious, was perplexing to the small-town natives. This meant my disloyalty to the community made me quite the rebel.

Metaphorically speaking, I began climbing that old fabled iron fence that coddled me from ambition. For me, I was, and still am right to climb, before I became the Shirley Valentine I feared I would become.

Consequentially, I feel as laced in rebellion as a spike-clad punk, and I will rock my vunky new threads with pride until I reach the other side.

What I’d tell my tweenage self…

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This new generation of school kids, I fear, are supple brained when it comes to the risks of possibly global mortification. Thanks to revolutionary new appage; the risks are higher than ever!

In my school days, the biggest risk would be sending a text to the wrong person and it getting in the wrong hands. However, with a Nokia 3210 the monochrome block capitals and xos were easily denyable.

NOW, with instagram and snaphcat especially, we are reaching a riskworthy high in this new era of potential self-ruin by a click of a button tap of a screen! A naive and impressionable tweenager and an ever-evolving iPhone could be a lethal mix.

Just this morning on the commuter/school-run train. The first word uttered by a lovely Vicky-Pollard-esque-hair-do-clad, metal-toothed tween was:

“Did you get Megan’s snapchat?”

It is 7.30 A.M. what could Megan possibly feel the need to ‘pap’ and send so urgently?!

With these tools at out tweens’ disposal; I can only imagine what rumours, salacious gossip, and damages to reputation they are capable of.

Via social media we are literally putting our lives on a Petri dish for dissection from our peers. Why oh why are we so welcome to such criticism. Talk about loading your own gun, more rope to hang yourself, (and any other appropriate  anecdotes that illustrate such extreme self-deprecation).

I pride myself in believing my tweenage years in this era would have scraped through unscathed for apps and gadgets fail to charm me. But for those whom fall for the app-ly charms of social media, I suggest us children of the BSP (Before Smart Phone) era offer some much needed guidance before any more naked selfies orbit our app-mosphere!

VACANCY: UNPAID INTERNSHIPS…EXPERIENCE: 3 YEARS!

Dear sir/madam  anyone whom may have wondered why there has been such a large time frame between now and my last blog post.

I have been putting my every blood, sweat and tear into job hunting and completing the perpetuation that is the  labyrinthine application forms, which leads fittingly into this discussion.

I, like so many of my fellow graduates, and unlike so many others of my fellow graduates, have been working towards my dream career. Or, might I add, a career that simply gives me a sense of worth and accomplishment.  Simultaneous to the work of job hunting and furthermore to fund the job hunt; I am working with bitterness and pure detest in a job I despise with my every vessel I kid you not.

Unfortunately, we are not in the current climate that nurtures graduates through the transition of graduate to junior. Instead we are going from graduate, to volunteer, to intern, to runner, to runner, to intern, to your friend’s aunt Julie gets you to assistant. By this time we’re 35, single, in a flat-share, without an ounce saved up for a mortgage.

Listen up, our CVs have essentially become the coasters, or the folded up table-de-wobblers of our ungrateful slave driving CEOs and it must stop! We are at the bottom of the pile, therefore our rickety raft ticket to the paradise island is undoubtedly, the god-forsaken; Unpaid Internship.

To discuss such a complex and frustratingly layered debate, in mere paragraphs, I aim to be brief and rant-free.

Firstly, I have volunteered, for 6 months, it was great, I’m done. I have done my bit, I am always willing to do my bit, especially when it is an extraordinary opportunity. However, it has been extraordinarily difficult to financially support myself through this time, 6 more months and I’d have been spoon fed by my parents leftovers, my independence was shot!

I believe it should be a law that one must be expected to volunteer no more than one period of time, unless consenting to more in exceptional circumstances. Employers should be punished for expecting said free labour. It is against the law for an unpaid intern or volunteer to carry out duties of an already salaried employee. Lets just say, if someone does the same tasks and receives a salary for it, its time to holla at Rav from Crimewatch! You’re working for criminals.

Now, it is my pleasure to make tea and photocopy, however, I want some of the good stuff too, at the very least to sit in meetings, to listen and learn. After all, is this not what working for free rewards? It is simple really to identify the wrongens and fraudsters of our early careers, simply question; are you shadowing and learning at least, or merely gophering from copier to kettle?

Subsequent to this, the fury that fuels this blog ultimately surrounds the heinousness of these employers’ attitudes and requirements towards candidates. They have the audacity to expect prior experience. When I had read this particular vile advertisement that triggered this debate, I scanned the room for Ashton Kutcher and his camera crew to pop out and Punk’d me! Said runner’s vacancy, to my horror, expected the candidate to have worked in an unpaid runners role for a prior 3 years! Who can live for 4 years on no income, please, step forward!

Finally, don’t get me wrong, I know we’re not living the life of Django before he’s ‘Unchained’. However, advantage is being taken and now is the time to make a change, for the future is bleak. We sacrifice our social lives, our freedom, our independence, our chance to begin building a life, and our ability to not be a burden. All of the above, most importantly, our time is precious, and we are willing to cash it all in for an opportunity to listen and learn and hopefully to input some use for these employers. Is that too much to respect?

My allegiance to the Game…of Thrones

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Note to self everyone! Do not think reading the blurbs of some of the Game of Thrones books will only give away a delicious teaser as to how the series will develop. YOU WILL BE VERY MISTAKEN. My friend and I strutted across the shop floor of WHS Smith swarming around the G.O.T’s own library of books, intending to scour through blurbs of metaphorically-teasing riddles hoping to be enriched with the potential direction of the new series’. HOWEVER, evocation was NOT dabbled with, in fact, pure out-right blatancy “metaphorically” slapped us round our faces! We were damn-right stricken by the SPOILER stick!

The aim of this blog, really, is to confess my newly undying love for this series. Having seen only approximately 40% of its episodes in chronological DISorder, I am bemused and perplexed, still, as to who’s who, and what the hell is what. Yet, I cannot express enough admiration for G.O.T.

The vast array of British acting talent; both legendary and up-and-coming, the illusory kingdom; rich in fantasy and not plagued by sci-fi tawdriness , and best of all, the eagerly awaited episodic cameos of Jerome Flynn (Robson and Jerome), is enough to pledge my allegiance to the Game.

I am saying with every inch of sincerity in my being, that it is not too late for any unfamiliar audience to tune in. Yes, it has a labyrinthine nature; however the Period Drama meets True Blood meets Coronation Street hybrid is abounding in ‘what-more-could-you-want’-ness.

The ONLY downside, as every series has one, is that us Thronettes have to wait 365 painfully long days for yet another selfishly short series. However two ancient sayings come to mind when referring to Game of Thrones, the first being its ‘quality not quantity’ of episodes, and finally ‘good things come to those who wait’.

I am sure wait, however impatiently!

What came first…The Selfie, or The Snapchat?

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I’ll tell you what came first; Narcissus, and the pool of his own reflection that killed him! It’s all relative, let me tell ya.

I rarely refer to Greek mythology when backing up my stubborn theories with philosophical substance. However, the tragedy of Narcissus is too fitting to remain unreferenced.

The SELFIE, in my opinion, derived from the hashtag, most of the time followed by something along the lines of #dontbejel #gym #cheeky or some other cringeworthy bangwagon label.

I guess a SELFIE can be deeper described as; a development of the ‘cheeky pic’ of you and your wingwoman wingman mate, (the originally more modest excuse to look at and show the world yet again another picture of yourself.) In time, that mate has somehow dropped out of the frame making that exact ‘cheeky pic’ a SELFIE.

If we think back to those pics with your mates, they have been around since the disposable camera era, meaning many years before Apps, let alone, SNAPCHAT and INSTAGRAM were even invented. So is the SELFIE the egg? Or chicken? Which came first again?

Either way it could be deemed; no less dissimilar to the ill-fated life of Narcissus.

You are Narcissus and the camera is the pool.

Now, the extremities are that Narcissus died, he could not deter himself away from his reflection, he therefore died in that exact spot. The similarities to the SELF-EE (play on the words Selfie and employee. Get it?) are that the self-obsessive and narcissistic energy of the SELFIE deters us from the element of actually living life, for we become too obsessed with cataloguing our every move as opposed to actually enjoying it. Therefore, like Narcissus, however massive the extremities, in one way or another we are wasting life.PFA62255

I could really go on in an eternal rant and delve into the deep psychological effects of the SELFIE, so for now let’s suggest the narcissistic nature of the SELFIE, the suggested time-scale of its existence, and the potentially negative developments.

The SNAPCHAT, I guess could be more indicative and explanatory of the subject for they have different uses for this narcy-app (narcissistic app).

I, for many months of eves-dropping, have come to the assumption that SNAPCHAT is solely for promiscuous use. Surely, the idea of seeing a picture for limited seconds welcomes the parade of genitalia? Oh but I have been hastily put in my place, by my SELFIE sisters, (aka friends I fear I have less in common with by the second), that SNAPCHAT is “funny and for your friends.”

So, taking pictures of myself and sending them to my friends is fun and funny? I wonder if I printed off pictures of myself and handed them out like flyers to my friends would they appreciate the same humour? Or would that impact them in the same way their SELFIES and SNAPCHATS do me?

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After much shallow debate and dabbling consideration, the SELFIE is taking pictures of yourself, openly and without shame, yet the SNAPCHAT is taking pictures of yourself and ACTIVELY sending them to friends? I am baffled as to what is less pure, raging narcissism!

After questioning what came first, I am (in the words of The Valleys cast) tamping, fuming, ragingly led down a completely different path to wonder, what is more narcissistic? Finally, In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, “I couldn’t help but wonder…” are we questioning what came first or better yet what is worse?

When it comes to SELFIES and SNAPCHATS, forget Susan; I am ‘Desperately Seeking’…Solace!

Big Brother: Secrets and Lies Launch Thursday 13th June

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Oh, where to begin. Maybe we’ll commence this rant discussion with the positives, aka the good. Number one; I guess I am bordering ecstatic following my first impressions of the housemates. Do not misunderstand my aforementioned ecstasy, for I DO NOT love the housemates, however I am more questionably content with the fact that I am not watching a circus of fame whores grabbers with empty words for the first time in decades!

Subsequent to my initial pleasantries with the show, I am reluctant to admit my taking-a-liking to Emma Willis. She has reinstilled that Davina essence to the show that is sorely missed by all BigBrotherettes!….and that’s about it!

And now for the bad and the ugly. Initially, I welcomed the back-to-basic element of the show with open arms…for approximately 2.3 seconds.

“Dear producers, I appreciate the creative intention and taking a retrospective view in development. HOWEVER, there’s back to basics and then there’s just plain old tryna recreate Big Brother’s 1,2 and 3, why not throw Bubble, PJ and Marjorie the chicken back in while you’re at it!”

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“Marjorieeeee”

Secrets and Lies?…Schmecrets and shmies! This whole Michael-the-audience’s-puppet-evil-actor-persona has failed epically following his GCSE-level improvisational acting skills; combined with the underestimated intelligence of glamour model Sallie. Big Brother and his eye-logo-Tshirt-and-headset-clad team need not underestimate the intelligence of the viewers and the fellow housemates of the mole, for 20 minutes into the launch show, Michael was SUSSED.

Now, I am painfully aware it is early minutes days, so let’s have faith that this ‘secrets and lies’ element will prevail and not consequently drop off as quick as Kitten Pinder got chucked out…remember that? Exactly.

Waving the white Flag to Matt Lucas

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A lazyful Sunday evening just gone somehow led me to half-heartedly watching BBC One’s The Matt Lucas Awards. Now I am not one for Matt Lucas or many of his comedic off-spring like Little Britain and Come Fly with Me and I am DEFINITELY not one to revel in any slapstick comedy like the aforementioned comedy shows. As a result, I have spent many a time tarnishing Matt Lucas with the slap-stick therefore rejecting The Matt Lucas Awards completely. HOWEVER to my complete erroneous judgement, I am fully mistaken. I battled (for 60 minutes) with my stubborn reluctance to laugh, whilst submerging into a vortex of giggles and repetitive “that’s so true” while watching this.

It appeared to be a compilation of best bits from his second series of this show, offering an array of guest comedians whom most of the time I do not gel-in-humour with. With that being said the feeling of disappointment when the end credits rolled was indicative of my indefinite enjoyment as a viewer.

The Matt Lucas Awards seems to be sibling to the likes of Room 101 and the short-lived King of…which I find myself re-in-acting on a daily conversational basis with my closest friend. Therefore my adoration of Matt Lucas’ Award show now deems to be serendipitous.

For those who may be unfamiliar with said programme, comedians will come heavy with grievances from their everyday; pitching as a nomination for each of Matt Lucas’ Awards. These could be anything ranging from; “the worst day of the year”, or “most ridiculous British Law,” all of which the viewer will find some familiarity, similar passionate grievance or complete disagreement with.

The show’s most appealing element is its unconscious interactivity with its audience. Without intention I found myself discussing each subject with my living room congregation, making it one of the simplest forms of entertainment.

Overall, I hold my hands up with my tail between my legs and admit defeat to declare that The Matt Lucas Awards is a cracking show and not one to be underrated.

86th Annual Absurdity Awards

Now, I am dazed and confused by the lack of negative criticism Jennifer Lawrence has been badgered with following her Academy Award for Best Actress in the David O’Russell flick. In the words of The Pretenders; “Don’t get me wrong”, I LOVED this film, I adored Bradley Cooper, and respected, even more, the work of David O’Russell. HOWEVER it is not a secret that Jennifer Lawrence gave an incredibly mediocre performance in comparison to her category of noms and fellow Oscar winners.

As a very unofficial member of the Academy, I look for those little moments of clarity, those mannerisms that reek of authenticity assuring that this character exists in some parallel universe. But J-Law gave me nothing. I could see the lines from the script as she spoke, I could imagine the mic boom haloing her badly dyed barnet. I try to steer clear of the term undeserving, so I will just merely suggest; Best Actress…my a***.

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You hear of the odd Oscar travesty for example; Malcolm McDowell’s performance in A Clockwork Orange being overlooked, and Leonardo Dicaprio for the love of God! Do Romeo, Jack Dawson, Howard Hughes, Frank Abergnale, and the rest of them mean nothing to you people!? With these in mind, and the added confusion of J-Law, it is difficult not to question the integrity of the Academy. And better yet, what criteria are they following? Artistry or bribery?

One does wonder if Leonardo Dicaprio or Malcolm Mcdowell have ever upset the elders and maybe J-Law and co kissed a***. Something to think about. Anthony Hopkins certainly reiterates. The Welshman is candid about his opinion of this modern Oscar era and its Academy. I am not usually one to side with a welsh cannibalistic Hitchcock, however his words have substance, following J-Law-gate.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2238227/Anthony-Hopkins-speaks-Academy-Awards-dubbed-Oscar-contender-Hitchcock-role.html

I am proud to admit that I am one of the few who stay up until the early hours of the morning to watch the Academy Awards as live as Television is willing. However, the 86th annual awards will be the last if this absurdity persists another year. The protest will begin the 87th if Leo is once again snubbed, or undeserving (there I said it) indie chicks once again devalue the gold-plated man.

Make it stop!

Frankie, BBC One, 9pm, Tuesdays

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Frankie follows the trials and tribulations of the working life and personal life of a district nurse.

Problemo numero uno; so, it’s about a district nurse making home visits. It just-so-happens that this particular district nurse is part nurse, part midwife, part paramedic, part child psychologist, part doctor, part…well everything apparently. Talk about over-stepping the mark. If she’s not in there holding your hand when you’re giving birth (that’s what the cast of One Born Every Minute are there for), she’s giving your child mouth to mouth on the side of the motorway, which essentially pushed me over the edge because no trained nurse would EVER give mouth to mouth without a pocket mask!

If we get past the sheer annoyance of the character’s life saving and self-abandoning attitude to work, it is light-hearted entertainment, with some interesting (said loosely) storylines.

HOWEVER (said loudly) it is almost exceeding cringe-worthy-ness with this; Bridget Jones-wannabe-dancing-around-on-the-kitchen-floor-heartbroken-and-bottle-swigging-pyjama-clad-thing they are trying to force feed us with. Incredibly off-putting, but if you can surpass that, then watch this.